This week

Back to school, class. No talking at the back. Jones see me during break. This week’s delayed Lesson #3 is a story of time, natch. We know that the planets move at different speeds spending different lengths of time in the different areas of our lives (officey, mudhut, lovelife etc) but it’s important to know that this very difference in time is what fits the astrological cogs together. For example: Pluto, the Demolition Ball of the zodiac, spending 15 years in your bank vaults may not sound like a bowl of cherries… but he’s not working alone. Every month the Moon makes cooing noises at him as she whizzes round our clock-face. Every few weeks and months, Mercury, Venus, and the Sun send him feedback from the field – mebbe the Sun is shining in your office and he and Pluto discuss an opportunity here to mekka more cash. Mebbe Venus sends him warning signals from your house of partnerships that a certain someone is not paying their half of the rent. By having these slow processes (eg Pluto) intermittently highlighted (eg by Mercury) we get a chance to see things from a new angle and make the necessary changes. Ever noticed how an idea can play around between your pretty ears for a while and then disappear, only to reappear later in a slightly different way, triggered by some, seemingly random ting…? More next week. This week, after the heaving fanfare from Doing It last week, [see archive] Mars and Venus hook up on Tuesday, three days before the Taurus New Moon. For what that means to you, see Hot Moo, below. From Thursday there’s an essence of bluff and who’s-zooming-who Aretha. Don’t believe the hype. Bite down on the money. Check the small print. Finally, Astroducky is trying a leetle somzink different this week by drawing a tarot for each sign’s main reading. You likey or no likey? Feedback muchas welcome.

Aries
Six of Pentacles: Nice to have an earthy card at the time of the Taurus New Moon, Ram features! Your focus this week is W-O-R-K. Saturn has been sliding backwards in your work zone since New Year’s Eve. By mid-May he turns to Forwards ho! Between now and then Mercury is going to reverse in your 2nd house of earned income. It seems that now is the time to begin the beguine, baby. How can you change your worky dance steps to get the work / money routine right for you? There’s hot stuff heading to your bank vaults in June. Prepare, research, consider now. Be ready to motor from the end of May. Hot Moo: A hurt or ouch concerning love or money gets you in the ribs, Tuesday. Energy and a taste for riches is coming your way (is this retail therapy I see before me…). Saturday make a wish for abundance. PS it doesn’t have to be financial…

Taurus
Four of Swords: Like the Scorpions you’ve drawn a bit of stress and a bit of fire. Having your floaty, gooey ruler meeting up with fiery Mars (the ruler of your 12th house of Meep!) on Tuesday may leave you a little frazzled, Bully Bull. If it feels too hot to handle, remember that you’re heading into the Dark of Your Moon and your energy levels are low. Be gentle on yourself and ask others to do likewise. Mars will be ruling your roost for the coming six weeks so a little bit of stress and fire are going to be your watchwords. But come June watch what you’ll have learned from his presence. Oh yeah baby. Smokin’. Hot Moo: Touch the future on Tuesday. Pow wow like a Professional Pow Wower then rest up and make your pretty wishes at the weekend. As your New Moon gathers her skirts from Sunday, launch a 12 month sky rocket to your perticaler vision of success.

Gemini
The Lovers: The Lovers represents a big decision where we must choose between two roads knowing we’ll never journey the other one. The Lovers tarot card is represented in astrology by Pluto and beautifully, on Friday this week, Pluto meets with the Sun. Your 12th house of fear and your 8th house of Letting Go are triggered. Decisions you make now, and roads you choose, are routes towards a truer more authentic version of yourself. This decision doesn’t look painful but it does look profound and a little scary. Trust. You’re seeing ways you’ve helped undo yourself at the moment and it’s a process that will continue through May. Make your decision then let the changes happen. Hot Moo: Career’s blazing hot isn’t it? But your energy’s dipping and you’re doubting yourself. Have a few early nights. We like our peppy friends with a healthy glow not a maniacal stare.

Cancer
The Wheel of Fortune: Luck be a lady tonight… sing it Marlon! Taking chances is The Right Way To Go this week Crab, not necessarily wrestling lions, but getting a leetle out of your comfort zone. Drawing this card at the time of your Annual Wishing Moon is a portent of You mekkin your Own Luck by clearly visualising what you wish for and then working your way towards it every day. Luck is winning the lottery, yes, but it’s also having the gift of a positive attitude and an earnest heart. The Wheel of Fortune is signified in astrology by Capricorn in your 7th house. If you want an additional boost to your lucky streak, squeezy and bidniz one-to-onesies should be the fellas you come in with. Hot Moo: Long haul, foreign, and study/teaching/ publishing plans are ablaze on Tuesday. Rest from Thursday. Never at your best in the Dark of the Moon, eat carrots and wait for Saturday. It’s your Annual Wishing Moon so clench! And wish hard!

Leo
Queen of Wands: It’s time to talk, either with you being the initiator or with someone else around you showing you The Way. The Queen of Wands is a woman who speaks purposefully, who knows the value of words. She’s a communicator, a marketeer, an inventor. As a rule Leos get along well with all of the air signs - Gemini, Libra, and Aquarius – but this week Librans are most in the frame for you. Conversations sparked early in the week seem to galvanise you. It’s time to embrace the future, run for those hot, sandy beaches, sign up for a study course. This week, though, start by talking about it. You’ll be ready to motor from next week. Hot Moo: It’s curtains on something alright. Either that or your boudoir antics are sending you into orbit… New career opportunities are starred and in other news: foreign shores have got you misty-eyed.

Virgo
Eight of Wands: You’ve pulled one of your own books from the shelf, Virgo! Ruled by Mercury, the winged messenger, you’ve drawn the card of Communications. There’s lots of activity in your house of work at the moment, ruled by air sign Aquarius, but what seems most important to hoy up the lamppost now is Mercury’s impending uiee which always catches you behind the knees. Starting from 7 May he begins his latest backwards ho in your 9th house of foreign affairs, study/teaching, long-haul plans, and publishing. Right now: Factfind. Start discussions. You are heading for something so right and by June it’ll be here. From 7th May current ideas and others from the past will be back on the negotiating table. You can decide which way to go in June but start researching now! Hot Moo: Hot and exotic in the boudoir! Relationships and foreign affairs look starred. Aussi it’s time to look again at that study course, pick a holiday destination, or refresh your future vision.

Libra
Four of Swords: Eerily, both you and Taurus have drawn the four of swords. You’re the zodiac’s two Sun Signs ruled by Venus whose meeting with the hot and fiery Mars this week may leave you both a little frazzled. This card represents a bit of stress and a bit of fire, impatience and frustration and anxiety. It’s associated this week with your 6th house of office and medicine cabinets. May Astroducky suggest that you need to be a little wary of taking your stress out in the office or of overdoing it at the gym with the dumbbells? If you can breath deeply and make More Haste Less Speed your mantra in the coming few days, you’ll get through the stress no bother. Hot Moo: Hot passions at work? If it’s love stuff it looks set to get even better. Make a wish to tidy up your inner emotional poop this weekend. Then get on with it. Your relationship stars are looking hot-diggety-dawg.

Scorpio
Eight of Swords and Knight of Cups: As two cards fell out while Astroducky was shuffling, you get two bites of the cherry like the Fishes. The combination of fire and water (swords and cups) links to the carryings on of Mars (fire) and Venus (water). The Eight of Swords suggests a fire energy that’s stuck, imprisoned even. The Knight of Cups symbolises the energy of a young man (or woman) who’s learning the art of love, creativity, and nurturing… It’s time to get some balance, Scorpio. Being calm and assertive in relationships and expressing yourself creatively stops energy imploding and helps us trust ourselves. Hot Moo: Tings with bébés, creative ting, or squeezes are looking earnest and passionate early this week. New partnerships and new deals can be struck following Saturday’s New Moon. If this concerns bébés, creative ting, or a hook up with a squeeze, so much the better. June’s when it all comes good.

Sagittarius
Six of Wands: The Six of Wands is an air energy card signifying victories - not as in the Superbowl but in seeing an idea you’ve had start to take root. The number six shows a sense of stability too, moving from the odd number 5 towards another ‘moving’ number ie 7. An idea or lead role you’ve taken on the 9 – 5 has been garnering you some praises. Well done, Archer! Within a matter of weeks the planet of communication, air sign Mercury, is about to do a uiee in your office. Be prepared to tweak your brainwave in May and relaunch it in June. Hot Moo: Things look ‘active’ with home and family early in the week. If you’re signing anything now check the small print. What you miss could mekka you mad as a badger by next week. Work and health get a shot to the arm from Saturday. If you need a check up or work review, get to it before month’s end.

Capricorn
Eight of Wands: Like your fellow Earth Sign Virgo, you’ve drawn the card of Communications… Discussions you start now need to be seen from a – howyousay – factfinding standpoint. It’s a hot time to ask, research, probe, and enquire, but a less fertile time for planting dem seeds. Mercury, the King of Communications, heads backwards from 7 May and you’ll be privy to more information which will change your standpoint one way or another. Areas coming up for a rethink are: creative ideas, catching up with old squeezes, and rethinking plans for bébés. Quite pretty things to cogitate, eh? Hot Moo: Creativity is on the up and up, as are (a) your magnetism to the opposite sex and (b) your broodiness or importance of dealings with chilun. A New Moon wish for these tings has Pluto on side as cheerleader. The person you’ve needed to help you is here. Game on!

Aquarius
Six of Wands: Like Sagittarius you’ve drawn the Six of Wands, an air energy card signifying victories - not as in winning the Superbowl but in seeing an idea you’ve had start to take root. An idea or lead role you’ve taken on has been garnering you praises, Aquarius. Well done! As an inventive air sign wowing people with your genius is nothing new to you but right now feedback should be galvanising your inner confidence. As Mars and Venus shoofty into your 3rd house of communications this week, expect to have some more victorious discussions, including on the love and home front. Hot Moo: Splashing out early this week is only going to make you crazy with money worries by next week. But if those shoes are too good to lose, it may be an unavoidable madness?! New looks for the home are beckoned in following Saturday’s New Moon.

Pisces
Three of Swords and Seven of Wands: As two cards fell out mid-shuffle you get two bites of the cherry – and both, spookily, sum up your Hot Moo, written earlier, below. The picture for your first card is a heart with three swords inside it. It symbolises love unspoken, the pain of speaking from the heart, the vulnerability of saying how we really feel. Swords represent fire, and sitting on this unspoken thought gives rise to a burning feeling and anxiety, probably in your tummy. The Seven of Wands suggests obstacles to communications. There is something you need to say, sweet Fishface, isn’t there? And the blocks won’t move until you do. Hot Moo: Important conversations that need to be had are best left to the weekend. Your key to success? Wear your heart on your sleeve.