This Week

We’re into odd times, friends, as five out of the 11 planets (consulted by yorn Astrobabble) are now in reverse motion with a sixth going demob at month’s end. June is to be a trying month but only so she paves the way for a more progressive July, August, and particularly September. Try not being cross with June. Have an ice cream instead and write lists of the lovely things you will get up to later this summer. Here Doing-It-Blog offers an insight – but not a lecture – on where we could all be ‘developing’ our patience. Adage of the week: Sitting in the garden, I hear the rhubarb grow. But ice cream or custard; custard or ice cream…? Or squirty / poury/ whipped cream. Hmmm?

Aries
Of all the signs, you should be feeling a forward thrust the most. Your ruler Mars is blowing up your pinafore and making you mad as a hatter to get progress progressed now now now where creative ting, chilun, and lovers/doinky/ hubba are concerned. Add to this mighty combustion chamber the entrée of Venus and the Sun into your house of chitty chat and short distance travels and you can bet your bottom dollar that you won’t be wanting to pipe down. So much is the urge to yabber about your creative ting, chilun, and lovers/doinky/ hubba that you’ll be visiting friends, rellies, and bros and sisters willy nilly just to spout about your plans. Snafus occur for you this week in this ‘ere visiting and spouting activity. Mercury doing a Uiiee on Monday means that rendez vous plans/ cancellations of trains/ one too many Ye Olde Tea Shoppes in a particular county can force your get togethers into a palaver. Try to commence action from Wednesday on but still leave plenty of time for diversions. And ensure that your moby is charged so that your Mother can talk you in to the right Olde Tea Shoppe. Also, watch who you gossip to and what you gossip about over the coming weeks; it’ll come back and bite you on the iceberg in July. Testing your Patience in June: It feels like slow-progress in getting your long-range plans and wishes more finely tuned. Ice cream of choice in June: Rum and raison (d’être)

Taurus
As a sign who loves the finer things in life, including doshola, the annual visit of the Sun and Venus to your bank vault should be filling you with glee. Pay rises, new commissions, birthday tweats for spendsies are the sorts of delights these stars should be bringing. Ordinarily. But this is not ordinarily. Mercury, the pixie-trouble of the skies, is poking about your piggy bank and causing a hoo-haa. Money will still be coming in (and Mercury retrograde could mean that old employers may come back to you with offers of more money still) but don’t be in a hurry to squander it. From Wednesday 28th ‘spend’ a fortnight really really questioning your investments – how you save, what you save, who’s got the best interest rates, best leccy deals, best kitchen cabinet bargains, and so forth. Then from June 23rd actually start to make the move so your bottom line looks tighter and more toned come July. Other areas for progress in June are things in your mudhut generally – whether that’s building work, parties, or general noise from the neighbours. And Saturn’s delightful ‘Forward ho!’ in your house of chilun, creative ting, and flings says you’ll be making dogged and lasting progress in these areas too (though commitments shouldn’t be carved in stone until end of June/and 2nd week of July). Testing your Patience in June: (1) Practical means, or support from bosses, that could help you get to the top of the ladder appear to be made of jelly and you’re taking it personally. (2) There’s something about the old, redundant YOU you have to let go. Ice cream of choice in June: Straciatella (chip off the old choc)

Gemini
What a flavoursome month, Airy friend, with sweet and sour, sugar and salt, chalk and cheese on the smorgasbord of your life. Venus and the Sun make you pretty and positive and Out There, shining and making others warm to your very presence. Mercury, heading backwards, is making you send emails to the wrong people, muss up presentations (by slide-showing your holiday snaps from Cromer instead of the powerpoint you’ve been working on for weeks), and generally fluffing up all admin, transport, and techno requirements. Astrobabble is exaggerating. A little. Monday through Wednesday this week all of the above are probable. Wednesday through June 13th you’ll be doing a lot of thinking, reviewing, sharpening up your skills and choices. June 16th – 21st all of the above are probable. Then ‘normal’ service is resumed… The frustration is that Mars in your third house is coaxing you to talk, present, spout, and pirouette on short journeys to see friends, rellies, and bros and sisters while simultaneously Mercury is making you incapable of booking a train ticket or remember what day of the week it is. In normal times you are quite capable of packing a picnic, leading an army, buying a car. Yes you are. On these dates above, however, let’s just say you have a golden opportunity to be reminded how far humility can take you when you need it. Testing your Patience in June: (1) How much humility is really necessary for one person to show in a lifetime? (2) Why can’t I see the distant shore I was heading to a minute go? Ice cream of choice in June: Neopolitan (possibly melted down and mixed up into a browny-pinky goo)

Cancer
With the slow moving planets generally making backwards steps and the fast moving planets doing the jabber jabber in your 12th house of “Everybody hates me I think I’ll go and eat worms,” the first three weeks of June may feel unsatisfying. You seem to be doing nothing but going round in circles. When we face a challenge and deal with it then we can retire to bed at night feeling like we’ve made progress, made a difference, been constructive. But with the worrisome noises pipping between your ears on the hour every hour, as they are right now, what is a Crab to do? Travel. Mars in your second house says there may be money going out but there’s dang sure still money coming in; and Saturn in your third house of talky and short distance journeys says get out of town and visit a museum, or a library, or an old fortress. If you can learn something on a scoot away from your four walls you will still feel able to head up the apples and pears to your scratcher musing on an interesting topic – such as how they made bread in the 15th century – giving your grey cells more to think about than the interminable pipping. And that means a better night’s sleep. And that means a spring in your step and a more fruitful take on life. Testing your Patience in June: (1) Worry generally. (2) A sense of impotence in making the big changes you need to make to become a stronger crustacean. Ice cream of choice in June: Raspberry ripples (of your mind)

Leo
Vital raaar energy and some solid financial building blocks should be yours, oh crowned one, making things in your everyday make up feel good, look good, hmm smell good. You know that what you’re doing now is going to be bringing in cash cash cash from July through September. What’s more, feeling, looking, and smelling this good means you’re pick of the bunch at cheese and wine tastings, croquet fundraisers, and delightful, unique pow wows generally. Watch your dance card fill up like Fred Astaire’s! (Used to.) Even old pals are looking you up and you’ll be happy happy happy to put on your best summer slippers and meet them for crayfish tails and blue gin and chats. So what what what is the sinking filling? Heart ting dat’s what. Your lovelife has in these past years fallen into one of three categories: idealistic (as in soulmate stuff), subaqua (as in not at all clearcut), deluded (as in deluded). Neptune’s retrograde in your 7th house of squeezes this week means that you are once again reviewing what it is you're putting out there when seeking romance which then reels in (a) angel-fish, (b) sharks, or (c) beached whales (as in no-hopers, not as in blubbery lovers who smell of soap). With Chiron, the wounded healer retreating in your seventh house too, the question arises: Are you attracting underdog(fishes) to befriend the underdog(fish) in you? Testing your Patience in June: (1) Lovelife underwater and under review again. When can I get rid of my flippers and snorkel and have a lovelife with legs? (2) Why can’t I stop putting on weight? Ice cream in June: Lo-cal frozen yoghurt (sprinkled with goji berries).

Virgo
While the fire signs are raving it up like children on tartrasine, you’re feeling decidedly stuck in the wash, under the kosch, and kicked to the kerb. One step forward two steps back would be a luxury! Robbing Peter to pay Paul would be top choice! Why? Why why why oh why oh why ohhh WHY?! The icky truth is that of the five planets going forwards, three of them are causing you headaches and that’s before we begin to ask what the planets in reverse motion are doing to your sanity... Mars in your 12th house has you worrying that everyone is out to get you, putting you on the back foot, on the defensive, and ready to punch out like Trippy the kangaroo on a Saturday night. Saturn in your first house is tying leaden weights to your ankles then hollering ‘Mush!’ in an authoritative voice urging you forwards but with restrictions of many shapes and sizes that you find frustratingly slowing. And Uranus in your 7th house means partners of a biziniz and squeezy nature are doing their own thing and can’t be relied on to rally you, bring tea, or help you out at all. The shiny lights this week are the ingress of the Sun and Venus into your house of “We are the champions!” meaning that in spite of the dragging and paranoia all around you, you are making progress. Your ruler may be heading backwards in this same sector today, Monday, but you can make the most of this transit without going nuts. Sign/do nothing Monday – Wednesday. Then from mid-week begin a review process of what success is, where things need to change to ensure it, and where you/bosses need to erase battle lines and find symbiosis – and get ready to present these reviews after June 23rd. Testing your Patience in June: Old health issues and work uncertainties can either (a) drag you down or (b) get sorted once and for all. [Go B!] Ice cream of choice in June: pistachio (now that’s what I call nutty).

Libra
Have you packed your snorkel yet? With the Sun and Venus skipping together to the checkout desk of your house of distant horizons it’s clear as a blue lagoon that you want to be feeling the warm sand slipping through your toes, or you'd kill to be basking in the shade of a Moors’ Palace. And if you can go then go go go!!! Certainly with Mercury back-tracking through the same zone, returning to a place you’ve visited and felt comforted by before may be right at the top of your list. Even holiday romances, or hooking up with lovers from the past during this three week canoodle, are all in the realms of possibility. Mercury’s retrograde means travel plans slated for May 26 – 28th and then June 18 – 22nd are subject to delays, befuddlement and lost baggage. If you can avoid those days, you’ll have a more relaxing trip. For Scales not able to take to the skies/seas/open roads because of other commitments, some of the same notes apply, just closer to home. When you look to the horizon and future milestones in your life you'll see that love, marriage, and companionship are certainly becoming stronger priorities. Opening renegotiations with lovers from the past may help shape who and what you seek. Legal shenanigans should go sweeter during this time too. Testing your Patience in June: Motives for your choice of lovers and creative projects are fuzzy – are you being yourself in these areas? Er, who are you in these areas? Ice cream of choice in June: Strawberry mivvy (for fond memories and redder lips!)

Scorpio
In spite of the heavenly bodies’ fractured dance above us heads, things are really going extremely well in your wash. In fact the reviews going on in your life are being given a helping hand with the flow of the energy around, meaning that you can change what needs changing without having to push the river up a mountain. The Sun and Venus, holding hands and skipping into the deep transformative 8th house are softening the blow to any criticism (imposed by you or others) on why the gaffes and snafus have struck in the past. Mercury here too, ordinarily causing plans to go awry, seems incapable of shaking your resolve. Even things going off-piste from 26 – 28 May and then 18 – 22 June won’t have you uttering a single tsk or tut. This iron-clad resolve is in huuuge part due to Mars in your 10th house of “Hire me I’m da one for you!” giving you strength and courage in the shape of positive feedback from bosses. Twin that with Saturn, the master of masters, cruising your 11th house of dreams and wishes making you want challenges - just so that you can trounce them so you prove yourself to yourself - and there’s nothing that clads resolve in iron more than that. Testing your Patience in June: Delays and uncertainty on where you’re going to be living, want to be living, can afford to be living may begin to chip away at the good feelings around you. Ice cream of choice in June: Lime sorbet. Ooh la la. Feel the zest, watch me dance.

Sagittarius
Ay caramba Archer! Love and happiness are flouncing their way into your life with gusto. The Sun and Venus holding hands and clinching like in the movies means partnerships are going to be fluffy, coochie, and making you weak at the knees. (If you’re planning to whisk your beloved over the weekend of 7 - 8th June be forewarned that Mercury doing his moonwalk is in the mix. Go with the reverse actiona nd whisk somewhere you’ve been before.) And if you’re making propositions that weekend there may be delays and thunks which can’t be carved in stone until after Mercury heads forwards on June 20th. For other Archers, thoughts of previous lovers are starting to burble between your ears (and perhaps in other places). Again that 7 – 8th weekend has ‘reunion’ splashed all over it; just remember, things didn’t work the last time for a reason. If that reason hasn’t changed, watch their heart and your own… This week the name of the game is showing patience to partners of a bizniz and squeezy nature. Mercury’s about turn on Monday means communications, delays, emails etc are likely to get lost, misspelt, deleted in error. Give the patience you would want in return and there’ll be no love lost. Testing your Patience in June: Short journeys, communications, and plans with brothers and sisters are leaving you disappointed as if you’d know what you want if you saw it – but just don’t get to see it. Ice cream of choice in June: Passionfruit and real cream. (Eaten out of someone else’s navel. But meebe’s not for the first time, prrrr!)

Capricorn
Like all the earth signs, Goat, you’re receiving a mixed veggie box of a week. The carrots, potatoes, and lettuces are all very lovely. But beetroot? And celeriac? Mercury’s “Let’s go round again” Large-Vehicle-Reversing MEEEP action on Monday is bringing old work scenario situations back for another looksee and/or old health troubles back for another ouch, yes it hurts when you poke there, examination. Conversely, the Sun and Venus, sliding deliciously in sync like Torville and Dean into this very same zone, augurs in good times, laughter, lucre, and an improvement to overall health so you feel more akin to having the physical constitution of an Ox (or, ahem, mountain goat) than a Jenny Wren. Positively interpreted, Mercury’s Moonwalk means old work projects which had lost their sparkle can be revisited and made beauteous, more beauteous than you’d ever assumed, and you can expect to find some real joy and satisfaction in the rejig and general uplift of the entire caboodle. Watch 26 – 28th May and then 18 – 22nd June as days to Avoid Avoid making final decisions. Every other day is a window, baby. One last leetle Astrobabble note for this week. Venus in the sixth house can also augur in a time of meeting a lovely on the shop floor / office car park / other side of the gurney. Look at your best, whatever your daily toil may be. Someone in the same scrubs is watching you and dey likey watta dey see. Testing your Patience in June: Your addiction to money is leaving you less and less satisfied/your lack of realism in dealing with money is growing more and more frustrating to those around you. Ice cream of choice in June: A multi-pack of anything to share with the cuties in the office…

Aquarius
As the Sun and Venus dovetail in your fifth house of chilun, loverrrs, and creative ting they bring with them positive vibes, smiley sunshine, and a glow of fortune in these three areas. So whether you are embarking on a new fluffy affair, planning for bebes, or getting a creative endeavour off terra firma – tings dey is a lookin’ good. So why does Astrobabble pause…? Well, eesa Mercury. This troublesome Pixie of the zodiac, who normally brings chitty chat, news, and cheques is now doing a Moonwalk in this very same zone. This can mean snafus, texts going missing (or sent to the wrong person ohgollygeeno!), and cross-wires as things are just about to get off the ground. On the plus side, creative projects and previous lovers may start trickling back into your life – for good or ill that’s up to you to decide. The weekend of the 7 – 8th weekend has ‘reunion’ scribbled all over it colourfully in crayon. With Mars in your 7th house, longterm lovers or business partners may be cockahoop or blazingmad with your plans. Ouch. Go steady. All that Astrobabble will add on this subject for now is to hold off sending ‘cheeky’ pics of yourself via text or email until Mercury has stopped larking about (your Mother/bank manager/Internet serice provider probably have no interest in the shape of your behind/your choice of fruit-for-fun) – and develop the patience of an Ox where chilun, missed messages, and mislaid plans are. And finally – take Tuesday morning off (and Wednesday if you can). The Moon is hiding under a pillow and you’ll sell yourself short. Testing your Patience in June: When are you going to stop feeling so adrift and have some clarity on who, what, why, where you are and what you’re doing? Ice cream of choice in June: Tutti Frutti while wearing a kiss-me-quick hat.

Pisces
Bank Holiday and the sales on home improvements are HUUGE. Trouble is, Mercury scooting backwards on the very weekend that everyone reaches for their drill and hammer, means tape measures are misused and thumb nails blackened. Astrobabble would be the last babble to suggest that you stand away from your new shelving project. After all a home is a castle, is a place where the buffalo roam, is a space with beautifully hung shelving... The Sun and Venus are calling you to make your four walls prettier than ever and to entertain lavishly and heartily in your mudhut. Mercury here is making plans and planning go awry with the wrong sized units and wrong sized drill bits bringing havoc to your DIY dreams. Hold off until 28th and then measure and measure again before you go at it like Nick Knowles. (And nota bene: work may be taking up so much of your time that you’re dividing your energy too thinly to do any lasting good?) In the grander scale of things, if you’re selling or buying property now, unless you’ve been living in a bunker these past few months, you’ll be aware that the housing market is on a downward slope. Mercury’s backwards motion here is a warning to check and double check the small print, signing nothing until at least 23 June. The Sun and Venus may bring you a pretty house for sure, but the devil’s in the detail. So check it with a microscope. Testing your Patience in June: What is it you’re waiting for before you can really feel like you’re home – and why does it seem to be further from view than before? Ice cream of choice in June: Soothing vanilla. By the bucketload.