This week

Well, 2009 is upon us. Astrologically this means nothing, natch. Dem balls of rock and gas, dem jes keep on trucking. Their big moves this week include Jupiter, the planet of ‘Here, have another doughnut’ shifting into Aquarius for a 12th month stay, a Full Moon in Cancer, and ohmercyme, a Mercury retrograde. Back up you 'puter and sim card, don’t buy ANYTHING technical or motor-oriented, and expect some old done and dusted goodies, lovelies, not so lovelies, and work snafus to return for more thinkage and spoutage. And they’re off…

Aries
With your 10th and 11th houses stacked to the rafters with planets your focus is the importance of work success and your hopes and dreams for the next twelve months. Jupiter’s change of vantage point means you can look forward to a cosmic leg up to accomplish the things you wish for yourself, to be thinking bigger and more expansively than before – and to potentially be over-inflating your chances of lottery / X-factor / Nobel prize success. With scallywag Mercury about to do a uiiee in this very same zone next Monday you’ve a three week hiatus to fine tune those dreams. Across town: and if home and family life starts getting your goat at the weekend, that’s Sunday’s Full Moon for you. Stand back. Breathe deep then dust down a spot on the mantelpiece cathartically - just in case you bring that Grammy home.

Taurus
Venus’s hook up with Pluto early doors this week brings a wish for your expansion/future/new horizon into brilliant focus. Make a note of the co-ords then prepare to get immersed in the preparatory work; this year’s eclipses are yet to unfold in this very zone meaning chances and opportunities are acoming round the mountain. Jupiter in your 10th all year sez this is a year for career success. Think back 12 years. The mountain you conquered then should be a mole hill compared to where you’re headed now. Mercury’s impending uiiee next week happens here too and old job offers reappear – or old offers need tweaking. Prevaricate on career changes until at least 1 Feb. And if you can sit on things until 12 Feb (or even 9 August if nothing brillog arrives sooner) then so much the better. The weekend’s Full Moon is your chance to speak from the heart. Have tissues to hand. You always get weepy when you let your iron-coated guard down.

Gemini
With your ruler about to hit reverse in your 9th house of travel, study, and distant horizons many Geminis will be tearing their pretty pigtails out at the delays and snafus. You’re right. This is no way to start a brand new year but these are the cards dealt… So. If you are travelling at the weekend pack a book and some patience. If you are planning a long range plan check and double check the small print – and delay signing anything until after 1 Feb. And if you’re applying to study make sure you have ticked the right boxes and are abreast of the actual deadline – not the one you have imagined. Likewise Geminis working in publishing and broadcasting are due some form of hiccup or revisit. Stop it with the pig tails! Dings offer chances to make things better. Delays often buy time. Jupiter sez the forthcoming Mercury delays if used well will help launch a bonza year for study, travel, publishing, broadcasting, and mind expansion. Man. A stitch in time, pigtail puller!?

Cancer
If you are reading this in daylight hours, Cancer, in the run up to next weekend then I doff my cap. The annual lunar meltdown of the Cancer Full Moon would normally find you comfort-eating Chelsea buns in the dark with blood-shot eyes and a blanky. Intense emotions are heightened at Full Moon this year as it’s opposed by Pluto, Mars, and the Sun in your most intimate relationships zone while simultaneously Mercury, Jupiter and Neptune congregate in your 8th house of letting go. You don’t feel good enough, do you? They think it’s all your fault, don’t they? There’s talking to be done and blame to be apportioned as Mercury heads backwards from next week. However, your cosmic bolt of luck is that Jupiter’s mission over the next 12 months is to show you positive, cheery ways to care less. It’ll be water off a ducks back by 2010, Crabsticks. You’ll be Groovy as a Groovy Thing in Groovy Avenue, Groovy Town. For now though the worst of the meltdown will be done by Tuesday week and you can start opening the curtains from then.

Leo
Aha! Everyone loves some good love news – and here is yours puddycat - Jupiter the planet of luck and expansion has just hopped into your 7th house of one-to-onesies for a whole year! Woohoo! Now Jupiter doesn’t automatically mean you're going to get hitched but before you sob into the window of the high street jeweller’s, Jupiter does mean you’re going to get stronger and more ambitious about finding miss or mister right. And if you already have somut fabalas to squeeze then you’ll be squeezing it even harder. The downside is that Jupiter can mean, listen hard Whiskers, that you start to get a leetle too demanding. Not as in ‘Put the toilet seat down!’ as in ‘I am going to do this relationship my way and you - you lucky, lucky, lucky boy - are going to love every last s-e-c-o-n-d of it. GOTIT?! Get generous and handsy not self-centred. First up: Mercury’s about to uiiee here. Old lovers and old love ‘issues’ return for a review/re-run/re-launch. Wait til after Sunday’s Full Moon though. You’ll be afraid of mice let alone your own shadow this weekend.

Virgo
Of all the signs likely to pick a spot on the map and stick to it this year it is you, Virgo. Saturn’s reverse thrust says you’re going over the finer points of what makes you you, covering all the holes and filing down any metaphorical lumpy bits. You know that without doing it the hard way it won’t stick, so the hard way is what you’re doing. Jupiter in your 6th says that work and health will pick up this year and that your graft will pay off. First up in your office this week is a Mercury retrograde. Old projects that seemed complete before the holidays return with i’s that need dotting. It’s not all bad though. Old work offers may return too but play for time signing nothing until 1 Feb or even better 12 Feb if you can hold out that long. In the meantime there’s fun to be had, you betchorsliderule there is! Right now the Sun and Mars say that creative ventures, oobah, and chilun should be getting your attention. PLUS Venus sez there’s love around if you wannit. Obbah and love, hmm... a recipe for delish for two!

Libra
As Jupiter hoofs into your 5th house of lovers, kiddiwinks, and creative juices for a whole year things should start looking up in a self-expressive/fruity/ parentage kind of way. First up though is the forthcoming reversal of Mercury in this very zone. Chitty chat and news from previous/current squeezes, old creative thoughts gagging for a revisit, or conflabs with or regarding bebes and chilun are forecast. It may feel like wading through the same old same old but schtuff resolved now bodes for a fabalas year ahead in these areas. You’re currently in the final furlong of a 2 ½ year big, Saturnine, karmic review. Let Mercury’s regurge in the areas above offer a key to healing the rest of your olde baggagee. Progress cometh, Scales; grab it by the short and curlies. Across town: a Full Moon in your 10th house of success at the weekend brings big emotion to work issues. Try not to react to it. Note the fear then start to let it go by Tuesday.

Scorpio
A pretty conflab between your ruler Pluto and love planet Venus early this week sez creative and loving spoonfuls are filling you with power. Longer-term: Jupiter’s year-long foray into your fourth house has a plethora of ting for ye. First up expansion and improvements to Scorpio Towers are starred. Second up family ting should get groovier with good tidings for and from your nearest and dearest. Thirdly, the fourth house rules old family ‘poop’ – ie the cheese you are still carrying because you felt deeply humiliated when your Mum scolded you in public for picking your nose; cheese that is so old and deeply buried that only the Time Team could identify it. Jupiter here is going to help you rise above it, accept it, and move on. Good timing for erasing your childhood cheese; next year could be a baby year for Scorps... In the meantime Mercury retrogrades in your fourth house. Tenancy agreements, mortgage deals, long lost Uncles appear and need dealing with. Sign nuttin' until after 1 Feb and check all small print. Finally, watch impatience at the weekend. The future will be along when it’s good and ready.

Sagittarius
After a twelve month boost to your financial picture Jupiter, your mighty leader, shifts into your 3rd house for a year-long stay. The third house rules a variety of everyday goodies including technology, communication, transport, bros and sisses and your local community. You can expect to be picking out the best in broadband and mobile services, scooting away from home on short journeys, and starting to crave a sense of belonging. Bros and sisses could be presenting nieces and nephews too. Just as well you’re loaded, eh, with all the shopping that’ll need doing next Christmas… Before the jewels start acoming, Mercury does a uiee here – yup – he who rules transport, communications, and technology. What the blue blazes!? Schtuff that goes wrong now is just setting you up to get the best of what 2009 has to offer. Trick me once, ain’t gonna trick me twice etc. Upgrade and update but not until 1 Feb. Saturn sez your success this year is in the bag but you’re going to have to work like a divil for it. Sleeves up, Archer, wax on, wax off.

Capricorn
Jupiter’s shoofty into your second house of earned income sez there’s money by the bucket-load to be made this year. It’s a Goat Eclipse Year too and come July a sooperdooper blast off has you feeling the truth of your real power. In the meantime two retrogrades are bringing a time for review. Your ruler Saturn has gone into reverse thrust in your 9th house of foreign ting and long-term visions until May. Commitments made now will be stuck to with gusto. Closer to home and Mercury’s doing a uiiee reversing from your second house of dosh into your first house of you. Snafus with money are more likely (check all transactions and noughts on payslips) but with the ingress of Jupiter into this same zone, it may be time to start reviewing your situation financially. Are you getting what you’re worth? Are financial offers what you want? Finally a Full Moon in your 7th house of one-to-onesies at the weekend sez it’s time to put a certain issue/chapter to bed. Crack on Goat. By mid-Feb you’re going to be trucking right off into the future. Travel light!

Aquarius
It’s a trouper year for you Airy one. Jupiter has landed in your first house of you, yourself, and you for the duration. Jupiter here brings a time of expansion and evolution, cheeriness, positivity, and confidence to say and do and try ting that normally you wouldn’t even have the bales to stand next to. On the downside Jupiter can also bring the temptation to overextend, overeat, and generally overegg everyting. Forewarned etc and so forth. Perhaps keep an earthy friend to hand who can reel you back in should you get overinflated. Or to put a padlock on the fridge. What’s more you’ve got eclipses coming at the end of January and in early August in this first house. Changes to your sense of self and purpose and general perception are afoot in 2009. Stay tuned for more. Before all of that though: this week Mercury heads backwards in this very important first house of you. Expect to be misunderstood and to misunderstand every other badger in your wake. Communication? What cauliflower cheese?

Pisces
Having a heap of planets lording it up in your 12th house of ‘Meep! Something under the bed is drooling,’ may not sound like a barrel of delights, and yet, ever one to put a pretty glow on things Astrobabble sez dis is golden opportunity; awareness is all, Fish. As Jupiter, the jolly green giant of the skies, lands complete with whoopee cushion in this dark, dank corridor of your mind you may well find yourself starting to chuckle at yourself more, actually beginning to see how ridiculous you are – just like the rest of us mere mortals. So many things are done out of fear and when Winston said the only thing we have to fear is fear itself, he wasn’t wrong. Ergo, if you can fear the fear less (by painting a comedy ‘tache on it and laughing at it ha haha) then you will grow evermore groovy and confident. Mercury’s impending reverse here too will offer a glimmer of where your glorious mind keeps tripping you up. Feel the deep joy as you verbally fall flat on your nose. Across town: A Full Moon in your 5th house has you getting stroppy with lovers and chilun or throwing an artistic tantrum over a potato painting mishap. Anger is only fear manifest. Call on Jupiter and reel in the incisors, Fishy. And laugh, tee hee, pahaa, hoo hoo.