This Week

Aries
Curiouser and curiouser, sweet Horned one. For most of this week you may well feel like you’re meeting yourself coming back. The energy’s there but somehow it just… Ugh! Won’t… Shove! Go where it’s supposed to go... Old friends pop out of the woodwork and getting together with them for the express purpose of having a whinge and a Quattro Stagioni won’t build Rome in a day but then neither should you expect to with these stars. And yet, in spite of some of the oddness of it all, you know you’re heading in the right direction. Vis the 9 – 5, something seems to be gelling on Wednesday with proof of the pie on Friday. Un espresso et una tiramisu per favore. Natch.

Taurus
Love Love Love, all together now, Love Love Love… Ahh lovely bovine! Pretty, choral melodies sung by angels and the sound of bells will peel in your ears this week. As your ruler Venus sets her stall out to Saturn, the maker of long-term matches, and then joins Jupiter, the planet of levity, adventure and FUN in your house of long-term plans things are distinctly looking up in the love and cantering off into the sunset department. Wednesday: sensible, proper, grounded; Friday: sling-backs, tousled, mischievous. Money, you know it, is coming under the spotlight. More coming in; more going out. Get it sorted. Oh, and while I’m on, watch your workfront in between your cooing and the kerching. As Mercury heads backwards in your house of success there could be oversights on the job, your annual review from the boss, or an altogether new perspective on whether success in the workplace is all it’s cracked up to be. Barefoot and pregnant might be more up your alley, Bully.

Gemini
Airborne, worrisome friend, what the jings crivens is going on? Indeed. You may well ask. Your energy is just starting to make its way back, like a long lost hoss out on the prairie, when no sooner have you eyed your trusty stead when dern it! The wind changes direction and the poor old nag gets caught in a sandstorm. What we can be sure of is that things are happening. It’s just too early to say how they’ll pan out in the long run. In other news: your notorious flapping about in the face of emotional commitment maybe coming to an end (thank the lord). Firstly Pluto has left that particular building and so your inner Darth Vader can stop wheezing about relationships being akin to the dark side. Furthermore, events this week on Wednesday and Friday should be setting little lightbulbs off in your inner recesses about letting go of old habits and replacing them with the new. You just have to grant yourself permission to do so. Crack on fairy.

Cancer
An old argument with a right royal thorn in your side (a difference of opinion that has been seething quietly for a few months) is set to greet you on your country path that is this week, Crab. You have two options: (i) resort to type (become scared / defensive / retreat inside shell) or (ii) face it head on with a calm, assertive, “We don’t need to do this anymore. So pipe down.” Option (i) is what you know you do well. Option (ii) is about being the stronger person. It may be new territory for you but now is the time to start exploring that very terrain. The big question you need to ask yourself is what is the gift in this confrontation? And lo ye shall behold that the thorn in question is an arrow pointing to a fear of your own inadequacies. Let that out with the bath water, pup. No excuses. And while you’re gathering strength in this new territory, say hello to a delightful weekend.

Leo
Work should be going well, pussy cat. Very well in deed. If you don’t believe me, check your whiskers on Friday and tell me you don’t taste cream stickin’ to ‘em. Hmmm. Yum. Love, on the other hand, and business partnerships are raising ‘things’ and these ‘things’ are rattling around behind those deep dark eyes of yours. Penny for your thoughts. There’s something isn’t there about your glory being reflected in the other in your life. And yet there’s something that you can’t quite see, like watching a fish through the ripples of a pond. The time to reflect on both de reflection and de ripples has come. Yassirree Bob. Don’t expect to fully understand the other – or to be understood yourself. It’s an open-ended conversation for now. What is for sure is that your energy to gain what you truly wish for is coming back. That path isn’t without its own dings and waves but it’ll be worth it. For now, ask questions and try not to judge. Finally, write poetry on Thursday. Your subconscious has all day to dawdle in freeform. The world can go fish.

Virgo
A new love affair this week has all the hallmarks of an affair to remember, indeed, one that may last too. Not only has Pluto just slipped into you fifth house (promising kinky boots and giddy passions) but a hook up between Venus and Jupiter in this very same boudoir is a very, very pretty omen indeed. For those already in relationships deep changes abound. Go steady on the flirtations away from your honey or they could become too hot to handle. On the other side of sticking your hand in - creative plans could be getting fruity. New agreements signed now are done so under auspicious skies. Meanwhile, across town, you’re looking at the office through a long lens. Mars is ready for you to Go go go on your run to the top of the professional stack. Mercury, heading backwards in your house of work, however, is giving you time to rethink, redo, revisit old work plans. Keep your wits about you, especially Tuesday, and double check that Things To Do list because chances are sure as apples grow on trees, you’ve forgotten something. There could be news on the work / rise to meteoric fame on Saturday. Read the small print. It ain’t what it seems. It could be even better, mind…

Libra
Do you remember the commentary in this ‘ere column about sweet nothings. I say commentary. Rant? Well here it bleeding well comes again. While the sun still shines on your love affairs, children, and creative ventures, there’s some confusion and plenty of chitty chat going on. Don’t be tempted to tell porkie pies Saturday and be open-minded as to what you hear in return. You’ve got three weeks of watching what comes out of your mouth and goes into your ears. Think of the old cartoons with Droopy and Foghorn Leghorn et al running in and out of random doors down long corridors – and imagine that to be the mouths and ears of you and your lover/s. Weird, hmm? Your long range plans for life generally will shift a gear this week. You’ll feel it Thursday. Start to act on it next week.

Scorpio
Home is still where your attention is this week Scorpion but it may not be until Saturday before you really get to switch off, soak in the bath, and unwind where you feel happiest. It’s an odd stop start week, like traffic lights on the menopause. News about home and family takes a turn on Tuesday – it may even be your Mum changing her mind and needing an ear. With Mercury meeting Neptune in your home too, plumbing issues may need a look at. Seriously. It may be a couple of months before it’s all sorted however. A hang up that’s been plaguing you for weeks will start to ease up on Thursday though it may be a while before you get to prove it to yourself. In fact if you can do nothing Thursday, especially when it comes to making money, then do nothing. It just won’t be productive. Take the day off if you can. Friday night’s a good night for hanging around your neighbourhood. And if your can put your plumbing, mother, and homefires to one side for the moment, you may even find love right on your doorstep.

Sagittarius
Thursday – throw a sicky, book the day off, hide in a forest. It’s not bad, Archer, it’s just vacant. It’s the moon wanting you to float a little so this really is no day for settling the deal with the distributors or deciding what the cod : haddock split should be on a national chain of fish restaurants. If you can spend the day with your sweety all the ruddy better - Mars is heading forwards in your relationship sector after three months on the sick so you can expect things to heat up. Please please, not in a belligerent sort of way. Love not war, galloping friend. Reconnecting with your neighbours may be on the cards for some Archers. And for others, don’t get befuddled if a sibling starts spouting nonsensical drivel at the weekend. Hug ‘em and make ‘em tea. It’ll all come out in the wash. Money and success are in your stars too this week. Watch Wednesday and Friday for keys to long term success and your January bonus.

Capricorn
Peaches, you and your future are at one. Your long term plans and how you see yourself have chimed; the two bells which have governed the progress of both of these things all these looong years are at last in harmonious synchronicity. Hark! There they go, ding dong, ding dong. Come Thursday your work-a-day energy begins creeping in. Head up, sniff sniff, you can smell the sweet edelweiss higher up the mountain path. And there’s gold in them thar hills ‘n all. However, steady how you spend your groats these next three weeks – especially this coming Saturday. Mishaps, forgetfulness, poor planning, cheques getting lost in the post are all ripe for the plucking. Do what you can by not being foolish. Don’t give your credit card to some dodgy geezer on the corner selling gold watches for a fiver. Buy a lottery ticket. Or enter a raffle. As you reassess your money sitch you’ll know that there are ways to gamble with your money, goaty, and wearing your wallet on your sleeve is not one of them.

Aquarius
Your sunshine month continues Aquarius. Are you feeling the rays? It’s an odd sort of a birthday month for you. Mercury’s about-turn in your first house can mean birthday cards going missing in the post and even celebrations going askew. Stay as light as you can. [If you bake the cake yourself, then you’ll know where it is at all times. Ya dig?] It’s a time of year for reflection that’s for sure – how things have been in the past 12 months, what you want to take charge of in the next. The skies here have your reflection and growth written as large as a very large thing. Mercury’s retrograde will help and with Venus and the Sun both sipping Daquiris with Saturn this week, sure as whales blow through their tops, you’re getting happier about letting go. Creativity is waiting in the wings to fill the vacuum. Pick your muse, Aquarius, and make her play.

Pisces
So, somebody is twittering about you and you don’t like it – either because they’re fibbing or because you don’t like your bizniz being spread around the farmyard of your life like muck. And yet you don't know how to deal with dem. Mmm hmm. Or are you just being paranoid [who said that?]? Put this situation in the mirror fishy wishy and have another think. Why do you care? That's all that really matters. Haul up in a hammock with a pint of tea and really ponder upon those little personality ticks of yours that cause you to worry about this crazy weasel - or this crazy imaginary weasel if it is paranoia talking. When you've done that, you will find you can rise above it and laugh it away on the breeze, hahaha. The good stuff this week is there for the taking - so takey! A home or family plan which seems to have been at arm's length since November is starting to gather a ball of energy once more. And whether it's this or something else that's one of your wishful thunks, celebrate Friday night and make that wish outloud and like you mean it. Wishful thunks from fishes will be on a priority line to the heavens on Friday.