Monday, 7 January 2008

The Week Ahead

Aries
Relax, sweet Ram. Take it eeeasy. The rest of the world may be gathering their skirts up to hit the ground running now the holidays are over but if you know what's good for you you'll come round in say... ooh March-ish. Seriously. Why stress about getting ahead now? Put those slippers back on. Let 'em burn 'emselves out. You'll catch up with 'em well in time for a hot cross bun.

Taurus
A rock and a hard place, Taurus. A hard place and a rock. You know what I'm saying. The thing ees, somink godda move - and if eesa not moved already den eesa gonna move this weekend. Have one last look at your dreams, wishes, friendships as they are, why they came to be, and identify which are no longer really right. And then Poof! The future happens.

Gemini
It's not the Christmas stuffing that's wearing you down, airy one. It's the engine room on a go slow. And once the engine room gets itself together in three weeks time the Captain of your particular ship is going on vacation and leaving the monkeys in charge. Go mad if you like. Or instead start writing a novel.

Cancer
Stop snivelling Cancer. The New Moon cometh and the New Moon bringeth a dreamboat or at least a clearer picture of the sort of dreamboat you want to be sharing your nest with. Seriously though, if you can't make love AND great partnership deals in this sort of astro climate, you might be afraid of something. No scuttling off into your shell, squishy. It's a year-long thing. Go find a good therapist.

Leo
Pussy cat. Get that purple robe on. Buff that crown for all you're worth (or better yet get one of your adoring hangers on to do it for you) and saddle up your chariot of desire. It's your time to roar in the boardroom and stomp around in your speedos showing off your robust health to all and sundry. Blaze? Glory? Pah, they ain't seen nothing yet.

Virgo
What's cuter than a chirping birdie? A miserable birdie learning to chirp. So say Grandpappy and what he dunt know dunt 'mount to more 'n a hill o' beans. Away with your carping dagnabbit Virgo. '07's gone. Learn a purdy song, take up pottery, put some happiness back in your ardour. And do it with feeling.

Libra
It's time to take stock of your use of energy vis the work-money-bills scenario. Is it adding up? Are you getting down? One sheet of A4. Two columns. What comes in; what goes out. Second sheet of A4. Ideas of how to make it balance... Work from home? Move closer to the office? Something's got to change and you the Daddy at balancing the scales. Be real. You can do it.

Scorpio
Life should be taking on some very interesting hues right now Scorpion, as solid as grass and as pleasing as terracotta. What you bin looking for these past years may be right under that cute little button nose of yours - your brothers, sisters, your neighbourhood. Have your siblings over for dinner. Set up a community croquet team or regular seance. Tear it up, locally.

Saggitarius
I hope you're sitting down while reading this. Preferably on a camel or a raft on the Trisuli river. The shackles are coming off, Archerino. Can you feel it? It's time to start putting your bang where your buck is, if you dig. Relationships will re-ignite in a few weeks. In the meantime find the adrenaline release you crave.

Capricorn
Happy birthday my goaty friend. And what a birthday. De twinkly stars in de milky way, dem smiling for you. Dem love you. Twelve years ago ya did somink, somink brave, substantial, expansive. Now, twelve years on, you got that energy again but this time even if you multiple it by a thousand, you still won't have the measure of the electricity at your disposal. Go go go Goat!

Aquarius
Money comes in. Money goes out. Lovers switch on. Lovers switch off. What you gonna do? Go with the flow, Aquarius. What used to drive you mad as a badger will be easing off in the coming weeks. It's time to put on your metaphysical saffron robe. Contemplate. Go inside. Iron out the wrinkles in your emotional make up. Find meaning down the back of the Universal sofa.

Pisces
You're all hot under the collar and raring to go and swimming down one slipstream but sheesh! The significant other has some sort of cold feet, lack of commitment, tissue-coated hairball of an excuse for why it JUST WON'T WORK. It's not you fishy. It's not them. It's Saturn. And he's teaching you patience. Yay. Grr. Yay. Grr. Yay. Grr.